Fear of Revision

Sometimes the mind plays tricks on us. Sometimes it deceives. And then there are the times when it paralyzes.

 

I love writing. I love how it blends logic and emotion into the vessels of character, plot, and setting. I love the artful simplicity of it, and the infinite complexity. But after the first draft is done and I’m looking at the beautiful disaster on the computer screen in front of me, the fear sets in. I’m going to have to fix this.

Oh, how many times have I wished for a revision fairy to wave her tiny wand and instantly transform my manuscript into a completed product? Too many to count.

It’s not (only) that I’m lazy. The first draft is easy. You just type down everything that pops into your head, like throwing bushels of cooked spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. Revising is the voice in the back of your head that keeps you up at night, whispering how the third act is still too weak to support the story and your main character’s eyes should be green instead of brown. And then when you sit down to start the task of bringing order to this chaotic manuscript, the first sensation is . . . paralysis.

It’s just too much. It’s too hard. The competition on the bookstore shelves is too good, and this little manuscript isn’t Big Enough or Smart Enough to get noticed. These fears are compounded by the other Voice in your head which convinces you that THIS is the book which will reveal to everyone that you’re a fraud, a hack, a joke pretending to be a writer.

Yet, I bring some good news, too. The fear is temporary. Once I place my fingers on the keyboard and get started, the tension eases. Oh, it’s not always a pretty sight. Some evenings I spend hours just banging away at nothing, barely treading water, and the fear slinks back into my brain like the whore of Babylon. But one thing you learn after doing this for a couple decades is that nothing lasts forever. The paralysis will lift as long as you keep pressing forward.

Revision isn’t just necessary for a good book. It’s good for the soul, too.

DragonCon 2012

I would usually begin a post about a scifi/fantasy convention with details about the wild parties, the interesting costumes, or the amounts of alcohol imbibed, but this time I want to highlight something more important.

Family.

This was my third DragonCon, starting from 2010, and each time I’ve been honored to share the booth and stage with very special people. Over the course of those three years they have gone from associates to friends, and this past weekend I realized something new. They have become part of me.

Typically when authors and publishers get together, they talk about the industry, writing trends, contracts, and that sort of thing. And we did that, too. But each time our crew got together, the discussion turned to our families, our personal lives, and the bonds we’ve made—bonds we cherish beyond a sales ledger or a promotional blurb.

This year I got an added bonus. My wife Jenny was able to attend her first DragonCon. Not only did I get to watch her wonder at all the sights and sounds, and the pride with which she wore her Xena costume (which got a LOT of attention), but I was also able to share with her the camaraderie of my DragonCon family. She took to it, and us, like a fish to water.

So, if you haven’t been to DragonCon, come for the festivities—for the all-night parties and the costumes, for the celebrities and artists—but perhaps you’ll be graced like I have been, with a new family as well.

Special thanks to: Lou, Megan, Lisa, Gabrielle, Eugene, Sam, Susan, Clay, Andrew, Philippa, K.D., Jessie from JABberwocky, David, Cooper, John, and, of course, Jenny.

And thanks to everyone who stopped by the booth to support us.

 

For some pictures of the con, head over to facebook where I'll be posting them soon.

 

Baltimore Comic Con

Hey folks, I just learned that I'll be attending the Baltimore Comic Con next month. I'll only be there on Saturday (Sept 8) at the Graphic Audio booth where they'll be selling copies of my audio book.

If you're there, please stop by and say hi.

First Draft Finished

I finally finished the first draft of the new book, tentatively titled Blood and Iron. It is now in the capable hands of my agent whilest I start the long journey of revision. For those who haven't been in the loop, this is the first of a completely new fantasy series. It's set in a psuedo-Ancient Babylonian society, and the story centers around a shipwrecked soldier fighting to survive in a land ruled by magic-wielding God-kings and -queens.

Fantasy You Need To Read

Pre-order The Kingmakers, the conclusion of Susan & Clay Griffith's awesome fantasy trilogy here, or anywhere fine books are sold. This is a great series with a powerful female protagonist and plenty of action in a wonderfully-detailed alternate-history world.

Shadow's Master Giveaway

Hey peeps,

Enter for a chance to win a copy of Shadow's Master on Goodreads. It's easy and it's free.

http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/28950-shadow-s-master

Where Is Captain Kirk When We Need Him?

In the wake of the Supreme Court’s ruling on the ACA this week, I’ve been seeing a lot of chatter. Some are decrying it as the end of freedom in America. I’d like to take a moment to share my thoughts.

Hur-fucking-ray.

Where some people see eroding liberty, I see advancing progress. We are evolving into a better society. True, some folks have to be dragged along kicking and screaming (I’m looking at you, congressional Republicans), but we are evolving. Because to do otherwise is to lose our special place in the world. Do you know why America is a great nation? It’s not because of our public schools, or our kick-ass military, or even our Constitution. It’s because we keep looking forward. We keep reaching for the next step on the ladder—in exploration, in technology, and in social equality. The same energy that freed the Africans from bondage funneled into the women’s suffrage movement; it led to the civil rights era of Martin Luther King; and today it fuels the LGBT movement. That’s freedom. That’s fucking freedom you can believe in and be proud of.

By 2012 I thought we’d have flying cars and vacations on the moon, and enough goddamned sense to treat each other with basic respect. I thought that Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Whites, Gays and Straights, would all be working and living together like we saw in the old Star Trek series, boldly going where no man has gone before. Instead, we bicker over whether people should have access to healthcare and contraceptives so that they might pursue a little happiness in this life. We wage wars over oil and religion without blinking an eye, but if you have the gall to suggest we actually put some resources toward erasing poverty here in America you’d better be ready to defend yourself. We have people—some successful, some just lucky to have popped out of the right vagina—who possess enough wealth to purchase medium-sized nations; and some of them use their fantastic fortunes to buy politicians so they can get special favors. We have citizens who can’t deal with the idea that a Black man sits in the Oval Office, or that – oh no! – gay people want to get married and be treated like normal human beings. It pisses me off that there are men in this country who still think of women as property, to be told what to do with their uteruses, to be impregnated at will and kept on a short leash.

Why is this allowed to go on? Kindly turn your attention to the angry people on the radio and television who bleat about how the government is trampling on their freedoms. It’s a lie, a vicious lie born of greed and desperation. The government has exactly as much power as we – you and I – give it, and not one whit more. President Obama isn’t the death of freedom; he’s the next step on a journey that began in 1776 when a handful of people signed a little declaration against tyranny. That Declaration and the Constitution were meant to be the beginning of the American conversation, not the end. The Founding Fathers weren’t looking back to the old ways; they were looking forward to new opportunities.

You, today’s generation, are less restricted by the shackles of bigotry and misogyny and tribal labels than your ancestors. Or at least you should be. And if you’re not, if you long for those good old days when women only spoke when spoken to, and non-whites were relegated to the back of the bus, and poor people just suffered quietly in their shacks down by the river, then fuck you. You don’t get the benefit of the doubt. This is the twenty-first century. Grow up or shut up, but either way this country is progressing forward.